Cut the cauliflower into florets, including any leaves andstems. Add it all to a jar or bowl.

Add the vinegars, sugar, salt and turmeric to a small saucepan and heat over a medium heat. Give it a little stir until the sugar and salt have dissolved, about 4 minutes. Pour the vinegar mix straight over the cauliflower. Leave to cool, then cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.

Ready now? Combine the horseradish cream and mayo’ in a bowl. Drain the cauliflower.

Assemble the cauliflower, Comté (with a slicer), watercress, crackers and horseradish mayo’ however you feel. Try and eat it all in one mouthful. Do it.